Audit Afficionado Gifts

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

Mr Small had the sinking feeling that his meeting with the tax inspector might not be as smooth as he'd hoped...

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Driverless cars rage.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.