Audio Producer T-Shirts

Books - Now on audio tape! 'Learn the sign language in 10 days'.

This call may be recorded and used in a podcast.

"I'm not mocking your song—I'm sampling it."

"What happened?! Did we get so many listeners that it overloaded the bandwidth?"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'From albums to 8-tracks to cassettes to CD's...What a long, loud trip it's been!'

New music conference

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."