Audience Diplomat T-Shirts

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

Inclusive speech

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

Career Choices

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Office meeting

HR - Helping Relationships

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"If I can't get a firm decision, I'd accept a wobbly acquiescence."

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

'So, now we have ascertained who is responsible...'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'