Dialogue Diplomat T-Shirts

"So what if your brother called you a 'lesbo? There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian... ...No, I'm not saying you are a lesbian... ...Don't threaten to beat me up!... See? This is why people think you are a lesbian!"

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

Meet the Enemy

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

'Your ambiguities are impeccable, young man - just what our department needs.'

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

How's the boss today? Should I push his buttons or pull his chain?

"Keep up the good work and there'll probably be a nice promotion in it for me."

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Conflict Resolution Training - Cancelled Due To Disagreement Over Venue.

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

"You do something about Human Rights and trade or...or....or..."

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"With the whole world in NATO, we won't have to take any more crap from Mars."

"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

'Well people who said the SRA wasn't up to the job are going to have to eat their words now.'

"We could agree to disagree but then I'd just be preoccupied with you being wrong."

Pandas talk about the P.M.'s visit to China.

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

'He pats my back, but I don't pat his.'

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

Adios "Mexico"!

Attila demands Italy and Switzerland. Keep Switzerland but give him the boot.