Audience Charmers Pillows

"Don't grown at your audience."

Taking a peek at the audience

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

How to engage an audience

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

"Don't worry—it's just a phase."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

Rosie Cheeks

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."

Snake Charmer

Public speaking

'I adore a man of many parts.'

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

"Beats hanging around the water cooler."

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

'Keep in mind I'm beautiful on the inside.'

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

A human cannon with an extended clip

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works