Auctioneer Admirer Pillows

Skipping Horse

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'I'm too hot to trot.'

Invisible clothes

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"It's called 'Sold'."

Teddy Roosevelt

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Acme Slide Rules: 'We'll be here and ready, when the current electronic gadgetry fad fades!'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I got it from eBay."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Stomp your foot once for 'yes' and twice for 'no'."

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

Antiques

The Battle of the Pictures.

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Knight with paint tin on his head.

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

Titanic iceberg auction

"When we agreed that you would move in, Mr. Goodrich, you didn't mention Rex."

Dog Realtor

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'