Auction Enthusiast T-Shirts

"The bidding will start at eleven million dollars."

The cat had figured out how to work Ebay.

Butterfly Auction

'Maybe that will teach you not to buy a manure spreader without seeing it first.'

David Dickinson

'Sold to the gentleman with the hysterical wife.'

'Sold!...to the man at the back...with the twitch.'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"I've got seller's remorse!"

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

Auction. I bid on everything until I lost my voice. The cartload before the hoarse!

P. Watkins Auctioneer: Going, Going, Gone.

"Congratulations, you just bought the book WE put up for auction!"

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"...And then I got all excited and sold my COMPUTER on eBay!"

"When he was 25 years old, Pablo Picasso had a studio in Barcelona, and he painted this door. The bidding begins at 3 million..."

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

'You have a Remington etching that has a mate somewhere of this coach scene. . . if you had the mate and cleaned the etching it would be worth $5,000 at auction. . . by itself $150.'

This is the twenty-first century, silly --- Log onto eBay and make a bid!

Rodin's Late Arriver

'I sold the old lamp in the den on eBay. Then I thought, 'Do we really need this sofa?' Before I realized it, I'd made $4,700!'

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

'That sneeze bid in a used bull-dozer!'

Landscape with bootsale

Cardinal making bid for painting at auction with roman numerals

'We're sorry about your loss Mrs Dingleheim. But what about his Picassos?'

Ebaying at the moon.

Stamp Auction

Notice at Auction: Any Wives Bidding Must have Note Signed by Husband

'I just sold my pitcher of water for $5,550,00.'

'Hold on, don't open it! I just sold it at a profit on eBay.'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

E-Baying @ The Moon