Auction Caller Pillows

'All in favor, touch your nose and lift your left eyebrow.'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Invisible clothes

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"It's called 'Sold'."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I got it from eBay."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

The Battle of the Pictures.

Titanic iceberg auction

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

'It sold for how much!'

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

'Actually, I'm here just for the wine and cheese.'