Attitude Analyst Pillows

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

"Why are you always so negative?"

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

Hypochondria Hospital

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"My parent's think I'm apathetic, but I don't care."

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"Do you have any hopeless little drongos?"

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

"People are crazy."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"If you work hard, exploit your employees, take advantage of a pandemic, use loopholes to avoid taxes,hoard your wealth, and in an act of extreme self-indulgent meaningless vanity, you can someday be an astronaut."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

If you were an iceberg...

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

"Where do you see yourself in five minutes?"