Attention Span Satirist Mugs

Nobody takes me seriously.

Copycats

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

'Coleridge'

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"It helps me stay focused."

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'It's funny because it's true.'

Psychological Warfare Target Practice

It's academic

"How do you respond to critics who claim you're just trying to scare people?"

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

Department of Disinformation Looms Over the Department of Information.

Sunset Romance

"A cartoon about Brexit, Syria, refugees, Yemen, France... Anything but Trump!"

"He needs his five-a-day."

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

'So, please, dig a little deeper and help us get rid of pop-up ads for good.'

Fortunately there are still some honest social media profiles...

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

'These f****** pop stars are setting really f****** bad examples with their b***** lifestyles.'

"You were hungry? Case dismissed."

'Don't worry, the money we're throwing at the economy is not US taxpayer money. It's borrowed money.'

"I'm only writing fake product reviews until I find someone to publish my novel."

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

Celebrity X-factor Gogglebox Bake-off on Ice

"Do you have anything for tweets?"

"Officer, wrong number."