Attention Span Satirist T-Shirts

Nobody takes me seriously.

Copycats

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

'Coleridge'

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"It helps me stay focused."

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'It's funny because it's true.'

Psychological Warfare Target Practice

Fakebook

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 3

It's academic

"How do you respond to critics who claim you're just trying to scare people?"

"Well done, doctor. I've never seen a phone removed from a hand so skillfully before."

Sunset Romance

Did you get my "friend request"?

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

Department of Disinformation Looms Over the Department of Information.

"A cartoon about Brexit, Syria, refugees, Yemen, France... Anything but Trump!"

'So, please, dig a little deeper and help us get rid of pop-up ads for good.'

'These f****** pop stars are setting really f****** bad examples with their b***** lifestyles.'

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

"He needs his five-a-day."

Fortunately there are still some honest social media profiles...

'Don't worry, the money we're throwing at the economy is not US taxpayer money. It's borrowed money.'

"You were hungry? Case dismissed."

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

Celebrity X-factor Gogglebox Bake-off on Ice

"I'm only writing fake product reviews until I find someone to publish my novel."

"Officer, wrong number."