Attention Seeker Analyst Pillows

"Today the American public at long last O.D.'d on Pee-wee Herman, briefly settled its attention on Bruce Willis, then finally decided to embrace an all-new, revitalized, state-of-the-art Richard Nixon."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Likes: $2.

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"All the celebrities come here."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

"...And in the dream, I was angry at my mother, so I told her she never gave me the love I needed... What do you think it means?"

'The polls say we're managing all of the people all of the time.'

"Let's go someplace else. There are no paparazzi here."

Mentioning 'Sex'

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

'Big advantage!!'

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

Attention surplus

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF