Attending Social Events T-Shirts

'Diplomacy is skating on thin ice without ending up in deep water.'

Men Retiring to the Drawing Room.

Sloaney Pony.

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

The devil you know and his plus one

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

The prying mantis,

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

All dressed up and no place to go

Children's Party

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"Whine and cheezed party."

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'I'll take it!'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

Glyndebourne

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Playing cards.

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

When I said, "Let the good times roll," I didn't mean to let go of the keg.

"I read 'Art News.'"