Attending Fresher's Week Gifts

Binge Drinking On Campus.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'Long shift?'

"I don't leave home without it!"

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

Day one, post grad

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

It's A Breeze

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"Only caught one, eh."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

Infectious Diseases Unit: Catch of the Day

Welcome back students.

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

'Underpaid, overworked, stressed and sick of criticism...still enough of my problems do you still need the toilet?'

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"Frank, is that you?"

Newly Qualified Teacher.

Bureau of Hospital Nursing - Be Back At IV.

"I'm glad this is the last of it. Mom and Dad kept smiling, but I know it's breaking their hearts that I'm going to be living at college!"

'You are supposed to be here.'

'I know it's a bummer. We don't like it any more than you do. Now, back away from the desk.'

"It's not what you know, it's who you know." "Either way, I'm starting from scratch."

"Guess where my Guccis took me today."