Attending Antenatal Classes Gifts

La maze class

At the modern antenatal class.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

So … you do a lot of yoga?

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

Birthing Ball

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

"Anyone else having trouble drawing hands?"

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

Contraction Tipping Competition

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

"You're pregnant? Are you sure it's yours?"

"You snored through the whole motivational seminar."

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

Cooking School. And what should we always do before chopping our shallots? Have our bandages ready!

"I'm sending a note home to your parent company."

Zika Protection

'This is one of the most powerful marketing tools known to man!'

"Love her classes. She shows you how to talk on your phone in any position."

Pregnancy Yoga

Are you sure we had to attend a one-hour seminar to receive a free flight?

'I failed 'insemination'.'

A Maid and her Mistress.