Attending A Social Event Pillows

How to read the dress code?

"How do I look? Is my bow tie straight? Am I having a good time yet?"

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

"Do you mind if we cut out the small talk?"

Sloaney Pony.

The prying mantis,

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

The devil you know and his plus one

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Children's Party

All dressed up and no place to go

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'I'll take it!'

"Whine and cheezed party."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Glyndebourne

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

Playing cards.

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

When I said, "Let the good times roll," I didn't mean to let go of the keg.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."