Attachment Gifts

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

'I sent out for everything.'

Lynching on social media

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Counting ribs

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Any time is cake o'clock

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

What the Doctor Ordered

Ice Cream Surgeon

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'They all want to play the star.'

Historical memory is on life support.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."