Atom Aficionados Gifts

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Well, we got the grant."

Science And Society 1923

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

Australian boffins are using kangaroo stomach bacteria in cows to stop them farting methane! 'Strewth!'

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

"Hi, everyone! Thanks for coming to our gender reveal party. We've got something really special planned."

Albert Einstein Tells A Joke. . .

Sir Earnest Rutherford splits the opium.

Professor Biggens instantly regretted putting his head into the particle accelerator...

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.