Athlete Salaries Pillows

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Football Fans

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Church for sports worshipers.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Yearbook

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Bullseye!

Monica Seles

Pete Sampras

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'