Atheist Humorist Pillows

"Michael Sherlock once said: 'Religion isn't about peace, love, or the betterment of our species, it's about power and control. Religion uses fear to control and milk its flocks. Fear of God. Fear of the Devil. Fear of death. Fear of being seen as deviant for expressing non-belief. Fear of social sanctions and in some countries, fear of legal sanctions. Fear is a powerful tool to manipulate the masses and religion has mastered its employment.' ..."

Ethics exam cheater.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Guru.

Giving Things Up For Lent.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Sermon Applause.

"You run into a window, too?"

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

R.C.I.A.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Praying Mantis.