Asylum Gifts

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

Schengen

They hated me.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Humans...What is their purpose?

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Support group for sheep.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

"We’re a lending aquarium."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

The Golfing Accident

"Be kind"

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Punk Reindeer

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."