Assembly Guru T-Shirts

Extra parts to confuse people.

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'I could do that.'

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

The Rise of Modern Art

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

Problem Solving

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Creative accounting.

Enlightened Cursing

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

"Was it a fuse?"

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."

'Do you think we can blame it on El Nino?'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Inventor of Morse Code

Rodins rotten juggler

"Big deal! My digital picture frame can hold a thousand pictures!"

Computer whisperer.