Aspiring Tourist Gifts

"He has a new travel mug and no place to go."

What else is there to wish for?

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Didn't you just say that?"

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

The Desert Island Package

Rainbow/Horizon

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Touring Holidays - On the P***

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

'Another artisanal B&B.'

Historic and Modern Bath

For services to Tourism. . .

"He didn't do squat for cats."

"There's no limit to what you can do with your life. Just look at me - I'm a chicken who ordered a beer."

Salesman on Holiday

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

"No, sir, this isn't Positano. It's the Jersey Shore."

'Those aren't smoke rings... they're Hawaiian Leis.'

Noah's Ark

Le Roi Kong

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

"It looked better when I saw it on Instagram."

"Waste of money, I've been here 200 years and never yet seen a monster."

'Everyone should have a bucket list!'

Foreigners in Paris - Foreigners staring at one another believing the other to be Parisian

'Here comes the stars and stripes.'

In search of the American dream...

Hope

"He decided to write a travel book..."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

'I can't afford those prices so would you call me when France goes broke and devalues its currency?'

'Where do I keep my bucket lists? Right there, in my bucket...'

"I don't know this guy but right here the dog of a famous celeb has vomited because of too much champagne! See? History is my speciality!"