Aspiring Tourist Gifts

"He has a new travel mug and no place to go."

What else is there to wish for?

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Didn't you just say that?"

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

The Desert Island Package

Rainbow/Horizon

Touring Holidays - On the P***

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

'Another artisanal B&B.'

"There's no limit to what you can do with your life. Just look at me - I'm a chicken who ordered a beer."

For services to Tourism. . .

Historic and Modern Bath

"He didn't do squat for cats."

Salesman on Holiday

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

"No, sir, this isn't Positano. It's the Jersey Shore."

"It looked better when I saw it on Instagram."

Noah's Ark

'Those aren't smoke rings... they're Hawaiian Leis.'

Le Roi Kong

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

"Waste of money, I've been here 200 years and never yet seen a monster."

Hope

"He decided to write a travel book..."

Foreigners in Paris - Foreigners staring at one another believing the other to be Parisian

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

'Everyone should have a bucket list!'

'I can't afford those prices so would you call me when France goes broke and devalues its currency?'

'Here comes the stars and stripes.'

In search of the American dream...

"I don't know this guy but right here the dog of a famous celeb has vomited because of too much champagne! See? History is my speciality!"

The popular tourist attraction of England's Cheddar cave paintings.