Aspiring Terry Pratchett Gifts

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

Prepare yourself, America. Dancing with the Stars is poised to present a new 12-week competition. And you'll never guess who's dancing now! Listen to the passion and fight in our newest celebrity dancer

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the up coming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

'Hello, my name is Death'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

'I think they're still just sizing each other up.'

1st. 2nd. Nice Guy.

'Before we get into the scope, the breadth, the gravity and the cost of this mess...pour yourself a drink...'

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

"Why are you studying? Go outside and practice shooting three pointers, so you can ear big bucks like Steph Curry."

Bernard Hinault

The Knockout.

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

Lawyers offices, with todays score card. - Won...Lost ...Tied

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

World Cup Fever

27 attorneys. No waiting.

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

"Here's your problem."

"Congratulations Fergueson. I admire a man who'd rather beat his boss at golf, than get a big fat promotion."

Gymnasium/Creche.

'I think they're targeting me!'

Lawyers Playing Tennis