Aspiring Mathematician Gifts

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

Probability Test.

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

'I have a math test tomorrow, Sir, and I could use a godsend multiplicationwise.'

Pi fight!

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'Mathematician's Rap.'

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

"I didn't have enough fingers. I had to use a couple of toes."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Jobs for graduates

Home Schooled On The Range

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Mathematics.

'I've completed driver's ed, auto repair and sex ed. Now may I borrow the car?'

Count of Monte Cristo

Euclidean Dog.

Do I get extra credit for neatness?

'How would you describe yourself?'

Brain Crash

'Adam, are you sure this what He meant by 'being fruitful and multiplying'...?'

'Here - I did my math homework, but the details are still sketchy.'

"Again we've proven something no one will ever care about."

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

"Freddy, take this back and add it up again. I was your maths teacher, remember."

Inventing Numbers

Bookstore. Books for Dummies 50% off. Would you like some help with the math?

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

Isosceles. Scalene. Equilateral. Math major pennants.