Aspiring Hockey Star T-Shirts

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

A scarecrow goalie

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

Thin Ice

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.