Aspiring Superstar T-Shirts

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

Talent Agent. When she promised to find a breakout acting role for me, I didn't know she was talking about an acne control product commercial.

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

I want to be on reality TV.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

I'm only a part time waiter, I'm really an actor...You may have seen me at the movies. Maybe, where do you sit?

Maps to the Hovels of Would Be Stars.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"The school psychologist says that I'm totally stupid and free of any talent. Great, that's the best qualification to become a superstar!"

Jobcentre

"My name is Shirley and I'll be signing 'My Heart Will Go On.'"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

"I've been genetically modified!"

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

'With one stroke of his fibre-tipped pen, Cartoonman laid waste to all that was evil...'

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"I think your guitar's broken. No matter what you play, it sounds the same."

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'