Aspiring Diva Gifts

'Sorry, no roles for you yet, Madam Caterpillar,'

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"I'm not sure I'd want fifteen minutes of fame. Mum would only follow it with fifteen minutes of criticism."

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

"We thought we could put in the details later."

"She has to arouse you, without, of course, actually arousing you."

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

Always stick to the script.

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

"I know I'm good looking, but am I good looking enough to move to California?"

"Harry wasn't born great and he hasn't achieved greatness, but he figures there is always the chance that greatness may be thrust upon him?"

Maps to the Hovels of Would Be Stars.

Good parenting.

"My husband wants me to be like Martha Stewart but I told him I don't do impressions."

'Are you actively seeking celebrity status?'