Aspirin Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

Effective Cuban vaccines

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

Of all the gin joints in the world, you are here.

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

'...27...28...29...by golly, you're right, this is good aerobic exercise!'

You're my Statue of Liberty

Plane with banner shoots at another.

The Day Trader

Step aerobics

Hexercise.

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"Ever since my great fall, I've been searching for that same adrenaline rush."

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"Sure, most men lead lives of quiet desperation, but I can fly."

Positive Thinking

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

Homer

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"There's no need to scream. The plane may be old but she was built for aerobatics."

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

Scariest Tactics