Asphalt Aficionado T-Shirts

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Route 666

Inflating Boobs.

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

'God's speed.'

Smile

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Cheesie Rider

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Mountain climbers find a family picnicing on top of the mountain

I love my motor.

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'