Asmr Pillows

ASMR for Quarantine

ASMR Dominatrix

Eye Exam Room/ASMR Viewing Room

"Hello, bubble wrap."

Newt sale

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'With your 4-4-2 formation I don't think you'll see the end of this match.'

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

'My app just ate your widget.'

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

The First Commuters

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"Jones ... don't use that 'I'm only human' excuse with me again!"

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

'If we could just sink Noah's Ark, think of the variety of food we could sample...'

Suit of armor. Sport coat of armor

Happy Birthday

'Stop kicking the back of my chair!'

"Sign of the times, eh?"

'Hi, I'm a sky marshall, you?'

'Sorry, no woodworm!'

"Looks like you need to cut back on your iron."

'would you prefer a plane with an armed or unarmed pilot?'

"I have to say, it`s not every boss that buys their workers a bottle for their hard work."

"You can't just go around calling a goose 'silly' nowadays."

'How much to let the fenders out a little?'

The iPhone268s

"Honey, play that ASMR video I find soothing - the one where you're wealthy enough to have a coronavirus test administered by a licensed health professional."

SMARMLOAF

"I wouldn't say 'favorite' animal."

'Hiring is alright but for a real kick you can't beat firing.'

"The ambient nature sounds are making me too sleepy to hunt."