Ascended Arithmetic Artist Pillows

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'But I digress...'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Lemniskate

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'190 divided by two...'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"When the teacher explained negative numbers, I suddenly understood how politicians 'deficit spend'."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

An Abacus in the form of 70s Pop group ABBA

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Math Teacher

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'This part was tenure.'

Presentation: Any questions?

"What comes after zillion?"

"Yo, this should be a two."