Artsy Analyzer Gifts

Bill Oddie

A Symphony of Penguins

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

Girl to boy: 'If flowers could fly, they'd be butterflies.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

An Abacus in the form of 70s Pop group ABBA

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Mom says finger painting was digital art before computers.'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

Business Outlook

'Picasso'

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

'Max really likes those genetic markers.'

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

'And this is the day we put too much coffee in the cappuccino machine.'

'This is where we hired Felder. All those in favor of going back in time and not hiring Felder...'

"It was around here we felt the force of el nino."

Hieroglyph stamps.

"And yet, I too am a still life."

"And this is where, to use a technical term, 'things went to shit.'"

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

'Just remember. . . work harder, work smarter and more importantly, you may have to work for less.'

'You don't get it? My wife and the kids don't get it, too. . . I don't even get it myself. . . That means it must be art!!'

"Numerous complaints have led school officials to investigate this popular teacher for encouraging students to pursue degrees in the humanities."

"I don't have the specifics yet, but my protractor shows your portfolio is up 8 degrees."

Hypnotist - "You are going into a deeeep sleeep"

Mystery Writer's Book Signing...Tell the Author How You Could Have COme Up With A Better Ending, 4-6pm.

'And their financial E.K.G. shows that they are in excellent health.'

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

'You don't see many of those drawings made with one continuous line much anymore.'

"We must be rich... because we're getting richer."