Artsy Academic Gifts

"Yeah, it's not much of a job. But a degree in 4th Century Etruscan Art can be a little limiting."

Scarcity

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

Still Life With Nordic Track

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

Girl to boy: 'If flowers could fly, they'd be butterflies.'

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

An Abacus in the form of 70s Pop group ABBA

High School Schedule

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

'Mind if I join you?'

Max Weber

"The self-portraits of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo were influenced by the great artists of her time."

'Max really likes those genetic markers.'

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

Mozart eating noodles.

Cross-country knitting.

Operation Tattoo

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

Steam of Consciousness

"What next?"

Ted Roosevelt, conviction cartoonist.

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

'That's it?'

Emile Durkheim

'I preferred it before you started taking Prozac.'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Bob Dylan Nobel Prize

"Numerous complaints have led school officials to investigate this popular teacher for encouraging students to pursue degrees in the humanities."

'She must have been a teacher.'

Billie Piper.

"Miss Edgeworth, tear down this wall."