Artistic Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

'Gesundheit, dummy!'

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

spellchecker

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

"The card you are thinking of is... the fifth of Jacks!"

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"

"Please—no technology questions!"

'Holy shit!'

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

Girl knocks over artists who is trying to sketch her.

A painter paints his thumb, not the nude model in front of him.

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

Two hunters and a near miss

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

'What happened?!? That idiot cartoonist spilled coffee all over me, that's what!' (cartoon about cartooning)

"You get a great view of the ball park from here."

"Gesundheit!"

Sculptor has hit block of stone, large slab has fallen on his nude model.

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

Occupational Hazards of Playing the Harp.

Slapstick

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

Magician tells of Apprentice

Vacuum-salesman clown gets door slammed on his foot.