Artifact Aficionados Mugs

"THIS is the cup of a Carpenter."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Posh Easter Egg

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

This will really mess with their minds someday.

Egyptian Mummy/Egyptian Mummy and Toddler.

Dog finds a nice bone at the museum.

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

Islington Angels.

Haunted museum

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

"Look - I've just invented the spade!..."

"Of course, it might help if we actually found something every once in a while!"

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

Archeology Dept. Storage. Ernie, this box should be labeled "unidentified pottery fragments," not "pots unknown."

My own museum.

First aid and sculpture

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

Carbon Dating Agency

Archeological find in the Myanmar jungle.

Stan's OK Deliveries

National Pottery Live

Wow, a thousand-year-old artifact! What a discovery! 2019. Wow, a patch of land not buried in thousand-year-old useless artifacts! What a discovery! 3019.

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

'Well it took us five years to find it, but we finally did... now if we can just locate the key, we'll be rich!'

'Things really change fast now. There's an original i-pad.'