Arthurian Myths Gifts

'I guess business experience counts for more than we thought'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Lady of the bath...

"The knights of the round accent table"

Swiss army knife

Knights of the bedside table.

'I'd like a round table!'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Knights of the Square Table.

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

"They're my Knights of the Round Table! - Stop calling them my focus group!"

"Whoa, Galahad-you've got a bad case of knight face."

Lady of the Remote

Illustration for 'A Legend of Camelot', scene 2.

P.C. in the Stone

Museum of Legend. 6th Century. King Arthur. I wonder which one of King Arthur's knights invented the round table? Sir Cumference.

"What a midfield wizard!"

Sir Cowalot.

Camelot Arms Fair

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

"I thought this would be easier than a drawn-out political campaign."

It's a movie about an English monarch who sets up drinks for his men at bedtime .. It's call "King Arthur and his rounds of the night table."

Lady of the Lake/Sharks

'Forget about the Holy Grail for now - I want you to look for weapons of mass destruction.'

The Lady of the Lake 2001

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.