Arthurian Legends Gifts

'Sir Galahad returns'

An anxious knight stares at chef's knives embedded in a stone

"Sir Eustache is searching for a coaster for the holy grail."

"Why does it always have to be fit for a KING?!"

Excalibone

'Forget about the Holy Grail for now - I want you to look for weapons of mass destruction.'

The Lady of the Lake 2001

"Instead of trying to pull the sword from the stone, I'm taking another approach."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Lady of the bath...

"The knights of the round accent table"

Swiss army knife

Knights of the bedside table.

'I'd like a round table!'

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

Knights of the Square Table.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

Knights of the Round Whatever

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

"They're my Knights of the Round Table! - Stop calling them my focus group!"

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

A popular stall at the Giant Sunday Pack Horse Contents Sale in Newark.

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Lady of the Remote

"What a midfield wizard!"

Illustration for 'A Legend of Camelot', scene 2.

"Whoa, Galahad-you've got a bad case of knight face."

Camelot Arms Fair

Sir Cowalot.