Arthurian Legend Fan Gifts

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"...before we hire you for this position, Frank, we'd like you to perform one more task."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

It's a movie about an English monarch who sets up drinks for his men at bedtime .. It's call "King Arthur and his rounds of the night table."

Museum of Legend. 6th Century. King Arthur. I wonder which one of King Arthur's knights invented the round table? Sir Cumference.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

'That's interesting -- I didn't know that Excalibur was manufactured in China.'

'He's been like that since he pulled the sword out of the stone.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

Become King or Win a Free Truss.

The Lady of the Lake 2001

Knights of the bedside table.

"Doesn't this look like a better way to choose our politicians."

"After you fair damsel, for I fear I may be some time."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Lady of the bath...

Swiss army knife

"The knights of the round accent table"

'I'd like a round table!'

Knights of the Square Table.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Pizza at the Round Table

Knights of the Round Whatever

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

"They're my Knights of the Round Table! - Stop calling them my focus group!"

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

A popular stall at the Giant Sunday Pack Horse Contents Sale in Newark.

"Whoa, Galahad-you've got a bad case of knight face."

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."