Artful Satire Fans Gifts

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

End the Winter Blues

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'Who's the new guy?'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

"You calm down."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Greed.

Telekinetics on strike...

In my day, they didn

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"Is your dog friendly?"

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

"So, how's your scary movie?"

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'