Art Theory Explorer T-Shirts

"Y a un truc bizarre."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Convenience.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Kid doing cave paintings

Imagine

The Cremaster Cycle

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

Mammoth Posing

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

Maria Sibylla Merian

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

Page from 'How to Draw' by Albrecht Durer

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

Antiques

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

Oak Tree Painted in 1642

"I can write, but I can't draw."

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"