Art Studio Regular Gifts

"If Basquiat painted it, you wouldn't say the naïveté seems forced."

Skeleton Model.

The Art Student.

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Just call me Picasso!

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

German School

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

"Move, Gary."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

'Picasso'

Studio in December

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

Modern Portrait Gallery

Cubism Model

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

Instant art

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"