Art Of War Aficionado T-Shirts

'Don't think of it as imperialism -- think of it as supersizing the country!'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

Napoleon marches off alone

D-Day landings of walking fish.

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

'And this war game comes with an AK 47.'

Knight Vision

"The Chilcot inquiry? No, this is the inquiry into what happened to the Chilcot inquiry."

Thaddeus was a noble, well respected horse, who was known for his loyalty and never asking 'Are We There Yet?'"

A general points out his ribbons which signify films he has watched.

Wangling War Films How to Make and Fake Them: IV The Fall of Przemysl.

Mr Punch's Design for A Statue to Miss Nightingale

Sailor and mine

'Not another war film.'

Donald Rumsfeld

Suit of armor. Sport coat of armor

Weak Knights

"He's always on message."

'It's C company, Sir, they've gone completely over the top.'

BE.. All that you can BE...

'In other news, Tweedledumistan today invaded Tweedledeeistan....'