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Plan B

'Is that a copyright symbol?'

Think of me not as a god, but as a friend who's always right.

'Wonderous drawings Mr. Da Vinci - truly inspiring! Actually I've been working on a few ideas for flying machines myself.'

'What do you mean, you've used up your advance?'

"M. Duchamp, 1912"

Cosmetic Surgeon.

And so it began...

"She's not fat! She's Rubenesque!!"

"He doesn't like it when you call him artsy-fartsy."

Picasso's Blues Period

"I hope that some day people will remember me as the inventor of piercing!"

God creates Adam.

Gilbert Charles Stuart

The Artist

The DaVinci Code

A caveman paints from life

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well....I could've done this!"

Baroque Peacock

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Convenience.

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Raphael

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Tinnitus?"

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

Troys'R'Us.

'It's a 'graphic novel.''

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'