Art Gallery Hopper T-Shirts

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

"St Tropez! Picasso's son! Never forget a face."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I think he was a celebrity."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

Rodin's Browser

The Rise of Modern Art

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

The Cremaster Cycle

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"I read 'Art News.'"

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Private Viewing

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"It's a great work!"

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

"He's left out the staples"

"If that were a Jasper Johns, dear, we could sell it for three million dollars."