Art Afficionado T-Shirts

'Just go down to the vanishing point and take a left.'

"Nonsense - I can sit on my Warhols twice as long as you can sit on yours."

Henri Matisse

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

The Artist

Paul Klee

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Cariactures

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

(Camel paintings)

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

German Expressionist Breakfast

"Mr. Right!"

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Horti-Culture

Distractions Of The Great

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Baroque Peacock

The Selfie

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Painting taking root...

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Misunderstood artist

Spring Training