Arrival Of A Baby Pillows

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Santa Claus's Mail

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

A midwife holding a baby

Late night teddy reading

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

A mother and baby elephant

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

The No No No's

Twenty-first century baby walker