Army Antics Appreciators Pillows

'No, Corporal Shirley - You don't get a Purple Heart for a broken fingernail!'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

The Jerry Scarer

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Cheek

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"I bet you miss your brother."

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...'

'We had no idea you were coming' - ACME Stealth Missile

'General practitoner'

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

Really big bang

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

Army barber says: 'Don't say 'Surprise me', soldier. I've never managed that yet.'

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

Memorial Day

"Let's go for a crewcut to salute our tremendous military."

The Boche Catcher

"Soldier, you're out of uniform ..."

'When I ordered you to clean the john with a toothbrush, I didn't mean an electric one!'

'Soldier, shinny up this tree and see if you can locate our bivouac area.'

'Soldier, we don't discuss Murphy's Law and the War on Terror in the same breath around here!'

'Uhm... Independence Day fireworks? Well...our war plane crew believed they were taking fire from anti-aircraft weapons...ain't that funny?'

Enlist now! K-9 Corps...'You're a cat!'

"- And then I get these overwhelming desires to make love to a man in uniform...."

Super advanced training: 'The object is to stay on top, while rolling down hill.'

'This is one place in the army where you have to hurry to and they don't keep you waiting!'

Servicemen holding American flag. Sergeant says 'Good news, men, we'll be getting the new flagpole tomorrow.'

Camelflage - Soldiers with camels strapped to their backs.