Armchair Philanthropist Gifts

This program was made possible by a grant from someone who, on second thought, would rather not admit it.

'I try to help when I can.'

"I'm actually a non-practicing philanthropist."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Gee, thanks pal."

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"I should've never studied canon law."

"My wish is simple—to give something back to the community."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

The Three Kinds of People

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

Hypocrisy about poverty

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I don't believe in egrets."

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."