Armchair Evolutionist T-Shirts

"It's an enduring mystery. How did this extinct species combine such huge brains with such jaw dropping stupidity?"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

They're Not Just That Into It

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

Evolution Exam Results.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

The intellectual.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"I think we may be related!"

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

I told you we were late!

"Where are you going? I said we need to talk."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

"Are we there yet?"

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'